“Honey, did you hear what I just said, were you listening?” Uh oh, is it obvious that I wasn’t listening…again…ummm, think quickly or she’s going to be mad. What could she have been talking about? Do I have time to make something up, or, just admit it? Ugh, I hate this feeling.
“Daddy, did you see me swimming? I went all the way across the pool under water!” Yes, right, sure I did sweetheart. But I really didn’t see it, I wasn’t paying attention. I was lost in deep thought, my mind somewhere else.
Have you had those moments before? Something was happening right in front of you, but you were lost in a thought, daydreaming, perhaps considering what you really wanted to be doing in that moment, tomorrow, or next weekend. When is Friday again? I’m sure some of us can relate to watching TV while someone else may be talking and hoping for just a little bit of our attention, only to recognize we are not plugged in to what they are saying.
The latest and greatest problem is that love affair many of us have with our portable devices. I recently saw a T-Shirt that said, “I just wish you looked at me the way you look at your phone!” Ouch, point taken. Fortunately, my wife wasn’t wearing the shirt, at least not yet…
How is it that we can be present and yet absent at the same time? We are physically in the room, but mentally we’re not really there. Why is it that sometimes our minds drift and we want to be somewhere we are not? We are thinking of doing something else. Why isn’t “now” good enough? Can we not take a minute to enjoy the moment, to participate in the present, and to be engaged with those around us?
A little attention goes a long way. I once read a quote that what we give attention to will grow, similar to planting a garden, or raising a child. If you want to see beautiful flowers or have an abundance of vegetables, you can’t wait months and then flood the garden with water all at once. It takes work, watering on a regular schedule, some sunlight, fertilizer, and patience. Our gardens won’t grow without our attention. It seems the same is true with relationships, they also take work and regular attention. It’s like making deposits in the bank, if we neglect one another and don’t make those regular deposits, the currency of our relationship will not build up and there will be nothing to withdraw when you need it most. Perhaps we need to make sure we’re paying attention to what matters most.
“What we attend to grows.” – Judy Brown
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