I don’t like asking for help. I’m not sure why this is, but there are many times I’d rather try to do something myself than to ask someone else for help to do it. I think part of this is because I don’t want to impose, or seem needy, or ask someone else to sacrifice their time or resources to help me. I don’t want to be the guy who’s always asking for something, so instead, I never ask.
However, last week I broke down and asked a friend to borrow a tool for a job that I knew would make my life easier. It took me some time to make the ask, but I did it. I’m not the handiest person I know, and I had never used a pneumatic air gun before, but thanks to YouTube and healthy dose of fear I figured it out. And it made my life a lot easier. Pfft, Pfft, Pfft…and those nails were driven in nice and easy. If I had driven those nails the old-fashioned way, with a hammer and nail, it would have taken 10 times longer (at least) and probably would have involved a few pounded thumbs and perhaps a few choice words spoken in frustration. As I was finishing up the job, I was reminded that having the right tool for the job makes all the difference.
Do you ever wonder about having the right tools for the less obvious jobs in life? It’s pretty simple to understand that a snowblower is better than a shovel, what about the tools needed to have a conversation with a family member about your will, your recent medical diagnosis, or perhaps making a move to a new apartment from the home you’ve lived in for years? These tasks require tools as well, but do we have those tools and do we know how to use them? If you don’t, you are not alone.
It’s not always easy to know what tools we need, but at the end of the day, I think my asking for help made me realize that it is ok to ask for help when you need it. Sometimes we don’t have the right tool for the job in our toolbox. Sometimes we don’t even know what tool we might need. Perhaps it is time to set aside our pride, or the feeling that we are bothering someone else, and ask for help. Being vulnerable isn’t easy. It’s hard to admit what we don’t know. But it makes us more real when we do, and I think people appreciate when others are genuine. Oftentimes people are happy to help, and this gives them an opportunity to do something nice for someone else. The right tools sure do make life easier, just don’t wait too long to ask for help.
“If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.”
- Abraham Kaplan